One Christmas, a parent decreed that she was no longer going to remind
her children of their thank-you note duties.
As a result their grandmother never received acknowledgments of the
generous checks she had given.
The next year things were different, however.
"The children came over in person to thank me," the grandparent told a friend
triumphantly.
"How wonderful!" the friend exclaimed. "What do you think caused the change in
behavior?"
"Oh, that's easy," the grandmother replied. "This year I didn't sign the
checks."
From Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh
List
After hearing the Christmas story, and singing "Silent
Night" a Sunday School Class in Sao Paulo was asked to draw what they thought
the Nativity Scene might have looked like. One boy did a good likeness of
Joseph, Mary and the infant, but off to the side was a plump roly-poly figure.
The teacher, afraid that he had somehow worked Santa Claus into the scene
asked him who that was. She wasn't sure whether she was relieved or even more
worried when the boy responded, "Oh, that's Round John Virgin."
From carrigan
Title: Christmas Too Commercial
Signs Christmas is Too Commercial
15. You don't recall that line from It's A Wonderful Life saying, "Every time a
cash register rings, a customer enjoys never-before year-end savings at
Try-N-Save!"
14. Salad Shooter in hand, Michael Jordan shows up as the honorary "4th wise
man" in new nativity scenes.
13. The impossible-to-get "Tickle Me Jesus"
12. Santa's Coyote/Ford-powered sleigh came in second in this year's Indy 500.
11. Wise Men now arrive carrying Faux Gold, The Clapper and a Chia Pet.
10. WWF presents "Oh, Holy Night" Cage Match featuring The Three Wise Men
against Santa, Super ELF and Reindeer Man!
9. Santa goes to Yankees in blockbuster trade for the slightly heavier Cecil
Fielder.
8. Rudolph demands Holiday Pay or he walks.
7. Santa's North Pole operation announces a corporate downsizing amidst rumors
that the Elf Division will be sold off to Keebler.
6. Reindeer rights purchase by Disney results in odd-sounding, "On Doc, on
Happy, on Grumpy, on Sneezy. Now Bashful, now Dopey, now Eisner and Sleepy."
5. $, the holiday formerly known as Christmas
4. Rather large Nike logo emblazoned across His Holiness's pointy hat during
Midnight Mass at St. Peter's.
3. Your kid makes a fortune trading in "Elmo futures."
2. Michael Jackson buys all rights to the phrase "Ho, Ho, Ho" -- an injunction
limits Santa to "a bemused facial expression and laughter not exceeding two
syllables."
1. The Baby GAP's line of Swaddling Clothes(TM)
This list copyright 1996 by Chris White and Ziff-Davis
The Top Five List www.topfive.com
Title: Blessing God
Ah,
dearest Jesus, holy Child,
Make thee a bed,
soft, undefiled,
Within my heart, that it may be
A quiet
chamber kept for Thee.
My heart for very
joy doth leap,
My lips no more can silence keep,
I too must sing, with joyful tongue,
That sweetest ancient cradle song,
Glory to God in highest heaven,
Who unto
man His Son hath given
While angels sing
with pious mirth.
A glad new year to
all the earth.
Martin
Luther.
Title: Can This Be Christmas?
Blessing God
by Donald Grey Barnhouse
He came up to me at the end of a sermon and shook my hand, "I can understand `God bless me,' but how can I `Bless God?'
What does it mean when we sing, `Bless the Lord, O my soul?'"
I said, "Do you have any children?" "Yes," he replied, "I have a boy who is six and a girl who is five." I asked, "At Christmas time do they ever give you a present?" "Sure," he replied." Where do they get the money," I asked. "Well, I give it to them," he chuckled.
"That's exactly it," I said, "You pay for the Christmas presents your children give you. You're so glad when they are talking about it with their mother. They are whispering secrets. They are excited that they are going to surprise daddy. Then on Christmas morning they come and say, `Daddy, here is a blessing for you.'
It ultimately came from you, but it was a blessing because it came back with their love."
When we sing, "We bless Thee, O Lord," we are praising Him with the blessings He puts in our lives.
Title: His Mother's Joy
His Mother's Joy
(John White Chadwick)
Little, I ween, did Mary guess,
As on her arm her baby lay,
What tides of joy would swell and beat,
Through ages long, on Christmas day.
And what if she had known it all,
The awful splendor of his fame?
The inmost heart of all her joy
Would still, methinks, have been the same:
The joy that every mother knows
Who feels her babe against her breast:
The voyage long is overpast,
And now is calm and peace and rest.
"Art thou the Christ?" The wonder came
As easy as her infant's breath:
But answer none. Enough for her,
That love had triumphed over death.